2018 RESOLUTIONS

Happy Sunday! ☺️  Just an update about my previous post: I PASSED!!!! 🎉🎉🎉  I mean, it wasn't great... but at least I passed! Thank you, God. 🙏🏻

Anyway, let's talk about resolutions. A lot of people make them at the start of the year, but fail to follow them through till the end; I am guilty of doing that myself. 🙈  However, 2018 will be different. I know everyone says that too lol, but I am adamant in making this change.

I will be turning 22 this year, which scares the crap outta me to be honest. I realised I'm getting old, therefore it is time to really start getting my shit together. 2018 will be a year of self-improvement; it will be filled with personal growth: physically, mentally and spiritually.

My New Year's Resolutions 

 🌸 Grow closer to God 🌸
- Most important of them all. Over the past few years, I haven't been as close to God as I could've been, and I'd like to change that.
To do that: I've already started doing a couple of devotion programmes, and I aim to start reading the Bible this year.

🌸 Pass all my exams 🌸
- If possible, with flying colours. I really don't want to stay in Maastricht longer than I have to.

🌸 Get the university I want for my exchange semester abroad 🌸
- I'm still deciding between the US or Canada, but US is currently my first choice.

🌸 Enjoy my trips to Korea and Bali 🌸
- There are plenty of hurdles I have to jump through to get to that.
To do that: I have to first complete my QM3 course assignment before Korea, and lemme tell you this, it ain't easy with this course coordinator. 

🌸 Travel to more countries 🌸

🌸 Go to Tomorrowland 🌸
- I'm still deciding on this, what do you guys think? Should I or should I not go?

🌸 Be more organised with my time and schedule 🌸
- So I can use my time to the maximum capacity.

🌸 Schedule more ME time 🌸

🌸 Get into the International Case Competitions Team 🌸
- Last November, I received an email from one of my professors congratulating me for being one of the top 2nd year business students, and inviting me to apply for a special skills training course. I was of course over the moon, and sent in my CV and motivation letter.
- So basically what a case competition is, is a competition where you are given a case, and a specific amount of time, then you and your team are supposed to come up with a solution and some possible recommendations for a company to tackle that "problem".
- After the first round of selections, I'm currently down to the top 24, but in a few days, we will have an encounter session, and only the best 16 will be in the final team. They will represent Maastricht University to compete in different countries across the world, against the crème de la crème. I am super excited omggggg, but also nervous and scared at the same time. 😬  I really really reaaaaallly want this and I hope I get in. Pray for me guysssss!

🌸 Get an internship 🌸
- Still unsure as most internships require you stay for a minimum of 3 months but the longest break my uni gives is only a maximum of 2 months.

🌸 Work out more 🌸
- Not only do I want to lose weight, but I also want to gain some muscle.
To do that: I signed up to join a kickboxing class. Just had my first lesson on Friday and it was really fun! My body is freaking sore right now though due to my lack of exercise.

🌸 Eat clean and healthy 🌸
- During my first year of uni, I was cooking at home everyday so I made it a point to eat clean. But after coming back from Malaysia, I sorta lost the momentum coz the food here sucks. 😭  Missing my nasi lemak, chicken rice, laksa, Klebang coconut shake..... 💔  I'm gonna do this, then reward myself with some heavenly Malaysian food when I go back.
To do that: Only buying healthy food ingredients so I won't be tempted to eat anything else, also meal prepping and eating on time. I'm currently trying the 16-8 intermittent fasting.

🌸 Become more social 🌸
- To building friendships, connections and networks this year. Also, to spend time with good friends who bring me up and are always there for me, and to stay away from toxic people who only want to push me down. Life is too short to waste my time on people like that.

🌸 Write more 🌸

- My aim is to blog AT LEAST ONCE but preferably TWICE a week.

🌸 Plan ahead 🌸
- Start thinking of my future career, where I wanna end up, and how I can achieve that.

🌸 Get out of my comfort zone 🌸
- I wanna do things that challenge me this year, things that I find uncomfortable coz I'm not used to it. This way I'll get to grow and gain experience.

RESIT

It's 5AM and I am wide awake.

I just had my Finance & Accounting resit exam yesterday morning. It's a resit because yours truly decided last minute to not attend the first sit last October, a decision which seemed like a pretty good idea back then, but one that I've begun to regret.

So last year I had this course, combined with Management of Organisations right after summer break. I just came back from Malaysia, was feeling really depressed and lonely, was trying to get myself into the study momentum again after taking a break for two months and I was really busy with SCOPE as it was officially my first month working. To be honest, I was just so busy dealing with so many things that I did not have the time to study. Finance is a subject I never really liked, already had the basics last year and still not a fan of it. Usually for me, if I like something, I'm usually gonna do well at it coz I'm passionate about it, you know? But if I don't like something, I really just can't seem to get it right.

To make things worse, my tutor was so so bad. Tutorials are there for us to learn and understand the subject better, but everyone was just so clueless. Our tutor doesn't guide us, he doesn't tell us if what we do is right, or when we ask how to do it, he doesn't help us at all; basically he just sits there silently in the classroom. I think everyone in my tutorial can attest to how sucky it was. Our tutorials usually end after 20 minutes (the original time allocated is 2 hours), I mean it felt really awesome back then to be able to leave early lol, but there's a price to pay for that.

Anyway, by the end of the period I was just super lost. I really tried to understand it, but nothing seemed to click (you know how that feels?), which frustrated me. The more I tried but still not understand anything, the more frustrated I got. I changed my way of studying a couple of times and did many past papers, still there was only minimal change, and it was not good enough for me.

So one hour before the exam last year, I decided that I wasn't going to attend it. It was a really last minute decision, I really did try to study till the very end. It's so unlike me to ever skip an exam, that was actually the first time in my entire life. My reasoning was pretty good though, or sounded like it back then. In my university, if you fail the first or don't attend an exam, you'll be automatically registered for the resits. However, if you pass the first sit, no matter how good or bad or do, as long as you pass on the passing mark, you are not allowed to do the resits again. A few options came to mind that day: 1) I could fail this exam, then just go to the resits; 2) I might pass this exam but only on the passing point and bring down my GPA; or 3) I could sit out on this, study my ass off afterwards, and then get a better grade in the resits, that way my GPA is saved. Which would you have chosen?

I chose option 3 obviously, but it's not going that well. I didn't consider the fact that I would have no time to "study my ass off". I just finished another two exams around two weeks ago, then there was Christmas and New Year's, and then this exam. For the past week I've been staying awake the entire night studying, like literally. I only sleep for an average of one hour every morning, then I continue again. I'm a big procrastinator and I get distracted really easily so I needed all the time I could get. I don't usually drink coffee coz it makes me feel sick and dizzy, but last week coffee was my best friend.

I think those who know me know that I don't sleep a lot, I guess I've been used to this since my high school days. This usually happens when I'm preparing for an exam, I could go days or even weeks with barely any sleep, then once it's over, I crash and sleep for like 16 hours to recharge. It's not healthy and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, but it works for me. However, for the past week I've been getting constant nose bleeds, probably due to the dry and cold weather, and my skin is also like splitting up and bleeding too because of that; my face is breaking out, my dark circles and eyebags are horrendous and I'm down with a fever now. I've been having trouble breathing due to my blocked nose, and I also briefly fainted a few days ago, no big deal lol. I'm basically falling apart. All of this would have been worth it, but... I feel like I did extremely bad on my paper yesterday. I wrote till the last minute, the invigilator basically had to pry the paper off my hands, there were so many questions that I studied for and should've been able to answer but I for the love of God couldn't remember how. Seriously, why are we not allowed a formula sheet in the exam?!

Sighh... I'm just feeling really shitty right now. I wanna sleep but my body is not letting me to, and I'm supposed to wake up early today. The answers are supposed to be published today, so I will update you guys if I pass or not, but I'm not feeling that confident about it. Alright, I'll try to get a few hours of sleep in now.

Good morning to all you lovelies out there and have a great day! 🌞

LOOKING BACK AT 2017

Good morning, lovely people of the world! 🌞  One of my year end resolutions was to start blogging again, so I spent these past few days rearranging my blog, deleting all the old posts, getting a new theme, designing everything from scratch, etc. to make this happen. As you can probably see, my blog has been given a facelift. Fun fact: this is actually my old blog, it was the first blog I created, I think it was like back in 2010? I actually lost the password and couldn't sign in to this account for many many years, so it has just been sitting there collecting dust ever since. However, recently, by some miracle I actually successfully signed in again!!! I made a second blog for the years 2014-2016, if you want to read my old posts, you can find it here. I contemplated deleting the blog, but there were just too many (good) memories for me to do that; it was the blog I started when I first got together with my baby Ryan. I'm back using this one is because I prefer the domain name of this, and I wanted a fresh start. 🙃  The look of my blog is not really finalised yet, as I'm a perfectionist, and it is taking a longer-than-expected time to do everything. I really want it to portray who I truly am as a person and to signify how much I've grown throughout the years. I wanted to get a post up before the year ends, so I guess you'll just have to follow my blog to see the gradual changes I will be adding to it. 😉  Alright, now back to my topic. Looking back at 2017, I've realised a lot of things happened this year, and I've also changed a lot. I'm gonna give you guys a quick run through of my 2017, so here goes...

New Years

I started 2017 pretty lonely actually. My housemate went back to China, literally none of my uni friends stayed in Maastricht as they all went back to their hometowns, the time difference between Malaysia and the Netherlands meant it was like 7am back in Malaysia and everyone was asleep. It was my first time celebrating New Years abroad and I was adamant to not waste it. On New Year's Eve, I went to the grocery store, splurged on some good food and two big bottles of booze, went back home, cooked myself a good meal, and finished both the bottles of booze. Then around 11:30pm, I got my ass out of the house and onto the streets to join in the "fun". Everyone was partying like crazy, the streets were a mess; I made my way to the Maastricht bridge and watched the fireworks show. When the clock struck 12, everyone was just shouting "Happy New Year", hugging their loved ones and celebrating, while I was just there.. alone. I wanted to travel to another country, but I couldn't as I had my QM1 resits a few days after that. So not only was I alone, I had to study as well. Lol, damn sad right I know. 

Italy

I spent my Chinese New Year in Italy with my housemate, distracting myself from the fact that I wasn't back home, eating all those delicious dishes, reuniting with my family and friends, and getting angpaus. 💔  Basically it was 8 days 7 nights and I visited Pisa, Florence, Verona and Milan. I will write a separate blog post about my Italy trip and explain to guys what I did there, where I went, and all that stuff. 

Denmark

Carnival is a really big deal here, it's basically people dressing up in costumes and going out to party with everybody else. We get like a week of holidays so I spent it by going to Copenhagen. I went there with one Malaysian and one Indonesian friend. The one thing I most vividly remember about that trip was THE COLD. Boyyy, I ain't joking about the cold! I thought I had to amputate parts of my body, especially my fingers due to frostbite. Ok, I might be exaggerating, but still, it was bloody cold. I'm just gonna write about my trips in separate posts (with photos included), or this post is never gonna end haha. 

Japan

Reminiscing the days when I could just fly to another country every month. #jetsetlife 😂  I've honestly been so busy lately I barely have time to eat. 😪  Anyway, I celebrate an early 21st Birthday with my family in Tokyo!!! I love Japan honestly. 💗  Those of you who follow me on Instagram probably know that I've visited Tokyo a couple of times, even spending around 2 months plus there once. My dad worked in Tokyo and my sister studied there, so my family used to visit Japan often. I was really happy I got to spend some quality time with my family, and eat a lot of Asian food. I lost about 10kgs since leaving Malaysia, so my parents were just feeding me a lot haha. I was also at the point of being dead inside as uni was (and still is) too stressful for me, so it was a much needed trip to refuel myself and push on the last few months before my summer holidays. 

Turning Twenty-One

I remember wishing I could get older faster when I was young, I just wanna take all that back. Yes, I'm an adult now. I still can't believe I'm already 21, and turning 22 in a few months. Where did all the time go? I feel old. Usually by this age, most people already have their life figured out, they know what they wanna do in life, some are already earning money, some are close to marriage and having kids, whereas I can barely get my shit together. 😂  Ahh, adulthood. All I wanna do is go back to being a kid again. I miss kindergarten when all I do is learn, play, eat and sleep, then getting a sticker for a job well done. 

SCOPE Maastricht

Some of you might already know that I'm in some sort of an association now but don't really know what, so let me just explain what it really is. So basically SCOPE Maastricht is the official study association of the School of Business and Economics (SBE), Maastricht University. It has more than 4000 members and is the biggest association in Maastricht, it is also one of the biggest in Europe actually. Inside the association there's like three pillars: Marketing and Management, Economics and Finance and General and Alumni. There's a few levels of involvement, passive being just a normal member, active members actually are selected to be in committees than plan events for the passive members, and then there's Board, which is the highest level of involvement, the boardies are selected after going through a selection process, they basically represent SCOPE and are in charge of the committees. When I first started uni, I was already interested in joining as an active member but I was worried that I might not be able to cope with the workload of uni so I held back. To be honest I was also quite scared lah, first time being in angmoh country mah, wanna test the field first right?

They had two recruitment periods, so when I was ready, I joined the University and Internal Relations Committee in February. I was also offered a position as the Operations Manager for the Marketing Day Committee, but my reasoning was I wanted to join a fun committee first, then apply for a serious committee in my second year. So my job in the University and Internal Relations Committee consisted of "consulting the Board of SCOPE in their restructuring process" and "executed shared events between the SBE and SCOPE" (just copying my recommendation letter lol). Basically my committee was responsible for reconstructing Google Drive, implementing and optimising Facebook Workplace (which I was personally in charge of), and also representing the university in events such as the Bachelor Open Days and Experience Days. It was really fun I'd say, I had a good team, a good boss and I learned quite some things, which made me want to take it up a notch. 

So I applied to be a Board member. After the selection process, I was offered the position of Social Activities Coordinator for the Marketing and Management pillar. Yeah yeah laugh all you want. 🙄  When I first told people who knew me I got the social job, people laughed. Heck, I even laughed. Let's just say when you imagine someone social, my name wouldn't be the first to come to your mind lol. Maybe the previous board saw something in me that I couldn't see for myself, or at least that's what I choose to believe. I was really nervous at first coz I kept thinking I will mess things up by being the anti-social that I am, so I was really careful. But after some time, I realised that letting loose is actually better for me. Fast forward to half a year later, I'm proud to say that I've grown so much as a person socially. I'm more open now, still not like super sociable, but hey I'm trying, and I will get there one day. For now, I'm living one day at a time. 

Active Member Weekend

One of my biggest tasks (maybe even the biggest) as a Social Activities Coordinator is to plan a weekend away for the active members in my pillar, something sorta like a camp back in Malaysia. It was damn stressful sia since I've never attended one before, let alone plan it for people. The camp was just held last month. I'm gonna go into detail about this in a separate post as well. 😊

Belgium

A week before my Summer break, a couple of friends and I decided to visit Brussels for a one day trip. Brussels is pretty near to Maastricht so we just took the bus there. My final verdict is I really don't like that city (sorry Belgians!), it is my least favourite city so far. I went there another time in October, still don't like it lol. I'll explain why later. 

SUMMER BREAK!

Omg, let me tell you guys, I waited an entire year for this to come, I wanted to go home so badly! I got desperate towards the end as the days seemed to creep by really slowly. We only had two months of holidays, which was really sad as I see other people getting three or four months off. 😞  Regardless of that, I think it was probably the best and happiest two months of my 2017! ✨  I got to see my baby doggos, my family and my friends, it was just amazing. 

I met up with people, working my way up North starting from Singapore to Kuala Lumpur. I'm so blessed to have you guys in my life. 🤗  But my babies (doggos) thooooo, I missed them like crazy!!! I was that clingy gf the entire two months coz I wouldn't let them out of my sight haha. They're my life tbh. Spending time with my family was great, all my sisters were back as well so my mom was really happy everyone's back together. I also took trips up to KL and Ipoh, non-stop eating sia in Malaysia, I think I gained like a few kgs. I lost all the weight here so that I could clear my tummy for Malaysian food! 👅  Ain't no place like home. It broke my heart when I had to leave again...

Taiwan

Tip: Don't go during Summer, it's seriously too hot. 

I went to Taichung and Taipei for one week with my baby. Did you guys watch my vlog yet? If not, click on the link and go watch! 😃  It basically already shows everything we did there, but I could upload our itinerary if you guys want it? Everything is in traditional Chinese there, so my banana boyfriend basically didn't understand anything during the entire trip. 🤣  I had to take the lead, even I was worried, but we made it! Whew! My sister didn't think I could. 😒

Since coming back to the Netherlands, I've just been throwing myself into uni work and SCOPE work. I'm currently in my second year of my degree and I honestly can't wait to graduate and work already. A lot of people tell me to enjoy my study years and that working is hard, but personally, I prefer working. I like that fixed schedule of knowing what to do, and when to do it. Then when I'm done for the day, I actually get to have my alone time, whereas you never really get to have time for yourself when you're studying without that voice inside your head nagging and making you feel guilty that you're not constantly studying. 

My mom, dad and youngest sister came to visit me a few weeks ago. My dad left earlier, but my mom and sister just left last week. They travelled to a few countries in Europe, it really sucked that I couldn't join as I had classes and exams. Pretty shitty how exams are always on the few days before Christmas, all I had in my head during exams were Christmas songs and how I can jingle all the way, instead of what I should be having which were Marketing and Global Business. 

Just to sum everything up, it has been one hell of a journey this year. Being abroad alone is not easy, but I know it's what I gotta do for my future. There are so many times when I want to just give up and go home, but then everything that has already been sacrificed will amount to nothing, so I soldier on, plus your home girl ain't a quitter. 💁  2017 was filled with good times but also bad times, but all in all, the experiences and challenges I've been through have refined me to who I am today. I know 2018 won't be easy, but it's also going to be filled with new memories, so bring it on! 

HAPPY NEW YEAR'S EVE! 🎊  I hope y'all will enjoy yourselves, but remember to party and drink responsibly! If you're still reading, thank you. 💖  It feels really good to be writing again. 

To all the people that have stuck with me through thick and thin, I love y'all and I'm extremely blessed to have you guys in my life. You're the fuel that keeps me burning, and the motivation that keeps me going. Words can't even begin to express my appreciation. I just wanna say that I may have been busy lately, but you guys never left my mind. ♥